MNN

The humans call them the “Men in Black”. These formally dressed do-gooders are a constant thorn in the Empire’s side. Therefore, in dishonor of the premiere of Men in Black III, we at Mogdoc News count down the Top 10 Better Uses for a Black Suit.

10. Impersonate life insurance salesman, collect and run

9. Cover up an unsightly stain or girlfriend

8. Wear backwards and securely pin arms for a stylin’ straightjacket that your asylum inmates will go crazyfor

7. Tie up ends of pant legs, stuff with hams and hang in smokehouse to cure

6. Take your Wayne Newton impression to a whole new level 

5. Gothic quilt

4. Secretly remove stitching from bottoms of all pockets, give suit to compulsive shoplifter, watch the fun

3. Upholster a vampire’s casket or an elegant footstool

2. Cut off legs, sew hem-to-hem…giraffe neckwarmer!

1. Three words…Awesome.Scare.Crow.

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The Empress recently proclaimed next week as “Spring Break”, a time for relaxation. The royal offices of the Citadel will be closed for the entire week. At the Empress’s suggestion, several mogdocs under her employ will utilize the time off for travel across the continent.

With that in mind, MNN presents the Top 5 Inspiring Destinations across our beautiful continent of Atlantis.

5. The Beaches of Longmar & The National Gammen Monument

Commissioned by and honoring Empress Broo Gammen, the monument features a colorful, pulsating light display against the dark sky. We suggest viewing it from the beautiful white sand beaches. Be sure to bring a blanket. 

4. The Sacred Caverns below the Citadel

A gold coin in the right palm can gain one access to The Sacred Caverns far beneath the Citadel. The spot of

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Recently, scouts recovered a film from the other side of the barrier. The video tagged “The Hunger Games” appears to be an event case study which offers practical tips for planning a major sporting event.

1) Leave one person alive, they can serve as a reminder

2) Certain berries are poisonous to humans and result in immediate death

3) Never underestimate the enemy

The Sect of Low is currently reviewing the film in the hope of gleaning additional tips should the barrier be penetrated. Members of the Empress’s staff confirm that experiments on the barrier continue.

More at http://brynabutler.wordpress.com/books/

Tucked away in a remote part of the West Woods is a cabin where Artemo the Werewolf Whisperer lives and works. MNN recently caught up with him to get his advice for spring training.

Artemo’s cabin doesn’t look like much. Our reporters approached with caution. Not because of his security measures, but because they were very afraid that the structure would fall down on top of them. However, soon the door opened and our team found themselves inside the headquarters of the Empire’s most acclaimed werewolf trainer.

According to Artemo, male wolves are easier to train than females. He jokingly referred to the female of the species as being as stubborn as their mogdoc counterparts.

His second bit of advice is to never use a spray bottle to deter bad behavior. “Unlike domesticated canines these beasts will not respond to a bit of water in the face. In fact, it enrages them,” Artemo commented. “Instead, use patience, plenty of it. And don’t underestimate the power of a silver bullet to the hindquarters.”

All eyes are on the new Empress this St. Valentine’s Day.  One merchant hopes to attract her royal attention with a wicked new twist on the sentimental standby, the valentine.

Garnop’s Gadgets recently unveiled its new “Burning Love Valentine”. The valentine is packed with explosives and detonates on contact making it the must-have item for anyone from the part-time con to the seasoned super villain. Mogdocs across the banished continent are scrambling to get their own…before their neighbors do.

Whether you’re stepping out to steal treasure or stabbing a comrade in the back, every mogdoc wants to look their very best. Add these simply tips to your beauty regimen for a deadly new you.

1. Sharpen claws daily. A sharpened claw is a weapon that’s always close by.

2. Mist gills. We don’t use them for breathing, but they still make a statement when we get angry or

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The Mogdoc News Network presents a never-before published interview with the late Emperor of the Mogdoc Empire, Bov Gammen. The content of the lost interview indicates that it was conducted prior to the emergence of the alleged guardian “child of sun and moon”. Censored and published under the guidance and permission of the Gammen royal family. Long live the house of Gammen!

MNN: Welcome everyone. Today we have an extraordinary guest, one above all others, for today we are joined by none other than the High Emperor himself, Bov Gammen. We’ll talk about his life as ruler of the Mogdoc Empire and his vision for

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As everyone knows, vampires are a rarity. They are often sought out for jobs that require a certain amount of finesse. So we wanted to ask,

Are vampires really the best getaway car drivers?

Here are the pros and cons:

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